awesome

Ben: Guys, can we push the meeting an hour? [pauses] What’s going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn’t put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.

(via falulatonks)

(via falulatonks)

all-right-ramblers:

“Would you two like to hear the story of ‘The Midnight Caller’? [awkward silence] One of you is gonna have to be ‘The Caller’. And I will tell you what to say. And I will do all the other parts myself [and more awkward silence].”

TRUE GRIT (2010)

(Source: , via samburgler)

I went up to him and said, “You look a lot like Jared Leto. Do you know who Jared Leto is?” He said, “I am Jared Leto.” I wasn’t ready for that. So all I could manage to say was, “Your beauty in Requiem for a Dream detracted from the narrative.”
He thanked me and walked away. 

(via johnnyflynn-deactivated20110410)

(via ethyne)

(via maeby)

whatupwithtthat:

Jimmy: But you know what character I’m loving on Weekend Update is Stefon.

(Source: annperkins)

(Source: kinslydangerfield)

James: Actors sniff jackets. Actors act, actors sniff jackets if they need to sniff jackets. Marlon Brando sniffed jackets, he sniffed pants. He did.
Dave: Okay. 
James: You’re a rebel without a cause? What’s your cause, not sniffing jackets? Sniff it. 
Dave: You sniff it.
James: You sniff it. 
Dave: No.
James: Just what I thought. You don’t know how to act.

(via shesayshowdy)